Saturday, May 28, 2005

Special for my Mom & Dad

The blog that I writing now is special for my mom & also my dad. Even Mother’s Day had passed; I would like to wish my mom having a “HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, mom I LOVE YOU!”(“yoke mar” or not….hahaha) & also for every mother in the world. I believed everyday is mother’s day. For my dad, Father’s Day is coming soon on June & I also would like to say Happy Father’s Day to my dad.

The reasons I wrote this blog is a lot of things happened this few days & a lot of things flashed back from my memories. The things that flashed back let me believed that every single words that mom & dad told me previously is correct. They have teach me become better & better. They have told me how suffer they are when the time they working & also their story.

Last month & this month after get my salary, most of the money has paid for life insurance for family & myself & car insurance & also give mom for her own use. I think my wallet only got RM50 now. My bank has not much money leave. Few days ago get the bank loan slip asking us to pay for house loan. Shit!! .. No money how to pay? Have talked to mom & dad on this issue, & told them don’t have money for the moment. Dad said he will settle it, he started to ask me do I have the feeling what he had gone through before & this let me think back last time I always blamed my mom & dad don’t buy this & that & also blamed that why don’t buy a new house like double storey house. Feedback is they said don’t have enough money how to buy, if cannot pay for bank loan then bank will pull back the house. They also said when next time we working, we will know how suffer is that when we paid for this & that. That time I don’t believe. In my mind always said that my dad cheating us. Now when I really come out to work, I am 100% believe what my dad & mom told me is right. Last time I always fight back with my mom & dad, I told them what they said is not true. Sometime I have hurt my mom & dad, always fight back. All the way I never think how sad they are, I believe what ever I did last time is wrong. Now my feeling is so sad.. Anyway I just want to say something to my mom & dad, “ Mom & Dad, I believe what I did previously is wrong. This few days I have gone through myself & found out what u told me previously is right. I believe without both of your support, I wouldn’t be doing well all this while. Mom & Dad, just want to said sorry to both of you & also say thank you for all the lessons.”

So for others, please listen to what your mom & dad tell you. Never fight back to your parent. Remember the words they told you, I believe you will realize in one day later.

My lifestyle

Almost 1 month staying at my new low cost apartment at Impian Baiduri, staying at here really change my entire lifestyle. From woke up early every morning become woke up late, I become very lazy boy…. feel like don’t want to work. But anyway still work everyday except off day for company (Saturday & Sunday).

Last 2 weeks, my brain feel like cannot think any things & feel very sleepy. But don’t know why suddenly I got feeling of want to live like previous lifestyle & my mind keep on telling me wake up wake up. I knew if I don’t make any actions I would fall in sick. So I decided to flash back my previous lifestyle. Previously I was woke up early in the morning around 5.30 to 6a.m. & now cause by my home is so near to my company is around 10 minutes journey & I always got this thought that I can reach at office before my office working hour start so I woke up at 6.45 to 7a.m & sometime when I reached at office was late. I decided don’t give any execute to myself… Ed, wake up!! NO MORE EXECUTE!!! So started from last week, set my alarm clock to 5.30 a.m. The funny thing is after shift here I put the clock next to my bed so when it ring I can off it immediately without wake up & fall back to sleep until 7 a.m. Now I really don’t give execute, put the clock at my computer table that far from my bed so when it ring I have to walked to the table to off it so I wouldn’t fall back to sleep. It really works!! So I repeated this daily.

Second thing is my health is getting worse & worse, feel like so tired, so sleepy, so lazy to do work… my mind told me I don’t have enough exercise. Yes, is really. Previously always joggling but after shift here, back from work have my dinner & feel sleepy. Sometime can sleep at 8 to 9 p.m. No more execute for me again. Last week decided after work straight away back home & change my clothes. 6 p.m. sharp reached at Taman Sea joggling alone. Without disturbing from others, can completed 3 to 4 rounds. My whole body really pain. What people said is right: - “No Pain No Gain!”. I gain back my health…. Hahaha. My body is sweat. After that back to home, bath & have my dinner. After have my dinner, not feeling tire & sleepy. So good. Now I repeated these daily.

So now I can wake up early daily in the morning & not feeling too sleepy & tire. I have changed my lifestyle.

–Don’t give excuse to yourself when the thing cannot be done smoothly, prove it to yourself that you can do it better & better! – ~Edmund Ngan~

Monday, May 02, 2005

Why am i so blur? Is it too tired? I need a rest...

Yesterday work until 8 p.m, so boring… thought wait for fei call up to go for yum cha with him but he didn’t call me, I think maybe he still in Malacca or half way back from Malacca. So what to do, makan sendiri. Went to Chao Yang vegetarian restaurant thought want to eat there but didn’t open, close business for 3 days. Shit! No choice, go to Malay restaurant at Jalan 222 & eat roti canai & teh tarik.

Back to my new house around 9 p.m. After bath started clean up my room, too much things to clean up and don’t know start from where. Just hang all the clothes & separate paper that I want. Too tire & can’t stand any more. 12 a.m called by “Datuk Chao”. Meet him just after 1 minute….haha. Today I really make a scary dream but can’t remember what dream is that. The worst is didn't meet any leng lui in my dream. The dream scared me until woke up, just want to look at the clock what time is that but alarm already sound. Shit, 5.30 a.m already. I really really feel like just slept for 1 minute only. No choice, have to woke up early cause today have to work even is holiday cause have to run reports for users. After ready everything, told mom going to work & close the door & walked in to the lift. Something in my mind told me I still got something to do & haven’t settle yet but can’t remember what is that. Anyway, when reach at Ground floor, remember something. Oh no, where is my wallet. Have to walk back & get it. The problem is where I put the wallet. Blur, blur & blur cause just woke up. My mind is blank. Think for so long but can’t remember where is it cause yesterday had clean up part of the thing & maybe mixed up with that. Have search for so long. Suppose to start working at 6 a.m, sure I will late today. I am so blur can’t remember where I put it. My dad & sister is helping me to search for it but still can’t get. Some more kena scold by dad. I decided to open every bag to have a look; luckily at the end I found it at one of the travel bag that I keep it in my cupboard. I don’t know why I so blur maybe cause by not enough sleep & was so tired. Anyway, look at my watch already 6.12 a.m, sure I am late. Don’t care anything, reach at office 6.22 a.m. I think I am a bit lucky cause my new house is just 10 minutes from my working place. After reach at office & started my works...

These few weeks I feel I can’t concentrate at my job & feel there is a lot of things haven’t finish yet. I feel so blur. I need a holiday. I need a rest. Don’t know where to release my stress. Anyone can help me? Anyway, after this will take a short break for sleep about 2 hours at office & will continues my job after that.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

My new house...

April, a month that really rush for everything...company things, my personal things have to settle in one month, really not enough. I really need a rest.

Saturday again, supposingly saturday is holiday for me & fei asked me to join them to Malacca & i wanna join but due to company closing & also personal things make me lost the chance to have a holiday & relax myself. Yesterday is really the most rushing day for me. Morning woke up at 5 a.m, brushed my teeth & drink a glass of water without breakfast then told mom need go to office working cause every month end must have company month end closing. Mom was a bit shocked cause we need to shift house by afternoon & have to settle everything in the morning but no choice cause if i not finish my reports & users will call up non stop until i print the reports for them. I just answered my mom i'll be back at 12pm. This is the best answer i can gave else she will ask a lot of questions. I am so blur cause day before yesterday i was cleaned up my room until very late & woke up so early. After reach at office & quickly run the reports, 8 a.m went out for ta bao my breakfast. After ate my breakfast then play some of the games at neopets.com. 6 hours passed so fast, 12p.m went back to house continue cleaned & packed up my things. Today really a sunny day & is really hot & confirm no rain for today. Finished pack my things & waiting for lorry. 3.30 p.m a ring called in, "We are coming, be prepare.". Then we started to put our things at ground floor. 4 p.m lorry is ready at ground floor, started move in all the things to the lorry but really suprise there is not enough space for the lorry. No choice, we decided to leave some of the things in the house & will take it by today using van.

Every things is already move in to the lorry, notice that sky become darker & darker. Everyone said will not rain lar, only myself said will rain. Just after few second, started rain & was really heavy. What a day for us, so bad luck. We quickily cover our things by using err... can't remember what the thing call lar. But luckily rain just last for 30 minutes. After rain stop, we started our journey to our new house. The apartment is located at Kampung Baiduri(former name) but now they changed the name to Impian Baiduri, such a nice name. It is somewhere near fei's house or at Jalan 222 P.J. Around 5.30pm, we reached at Impain Baiduri. Our place here doesn't rain at all, is really really hot. We started to move in our things to our unit(pink color Block). We took around 1 1/2 hour to move in everything. We are really tired & without arranging the things, we just put at living room & bed room. Our body is so dirty & smelly, i quickily went to bath. The bath make me feel like i am not bath for 10 years before cause i think this is the best bath i had ever before...haha. After cleaned up some of the things, is around 9 p.m. Went out for dinner with family, back to home is around 10.30 p.m. We are betting that everyone sure can sleep nicely & sure will "make noise" when sleeping cause really tired.

Around 12 a.m, all the lamps was off. Everyone started try to "turn off" our eyes. Suprise that no one can sleep cause is really hot even the fans turn to maximum. I am sleep at living room, others sleep at their room. After few minutes, i started meet my Datuk Chao & his daughter Miss Chao..haha. Around 1 a.m "scary dream" started, i can hear sound "ngiiii ngiiii ngiiiii ngiiiiiiiii" from my ears. What the shit! This sound was long time missing in my ears liao when i slept. Really can not sleep & i hear mom and dad & also my sister was chatting & keep on said hot. Haha, they haven't sleep yet. I on the lamp thought can scared off "my long time never meet frineds" mosquitos, but can't. No choices, i apply some mosquitos yokko. So lucky, i having nice sleep & all the friends go & meet my mom & sister. All of them move out & sleep at living room. From that moment, everything became silent liao. Everyone can sleep liao.

After close my eyes & continues sleep, i hear some sound & is really noisy but i don't know what the sound is that. My mom woke me up, & asked me to turn off the alarm sound & i am asking what alarm sound. Oh no, what the shit! I just closed my eyes & now is 5 a.m liao. It is like few minutes ago only. Really tired, thanks for my "long time never meet friends".. really want to kill them. After turn off the alarm, brush my teeth & drink a glass of water then went to work. Imagine today is Labour Day still need to work. Due to Labour Day falled on Sunday so Monday will be replacement for holiday but Monday i still need to work and also cause by month end closing, what a life i having now? @#@#$$%%..... 6 a.m reached at office, went out ta bao for breakfast & after ate breakfast play game also. Continues run my reports. Due to have to wait the reports run for so long & system a bit slow, took 2 hours to sleep. After woke up, feel like nothing to do beside waiting the reports. Call up fei asked him wheather free for tonight or not cause want to have dinner with him. Long time never meet him liao. But he said he still in Malacca & don't know what time will back to P.J. He said if come back early then will give me a call. What to do, so boring at office & since long long time never update my blog then start to write this blog. Hope fei will call up tonight.